A lot of anxiety was built up for the first day. I was ready to start, but scared of the unknown. It kind of reminded me of the first time giving childbirth. Everyone has a story to tell. And you all know some are good and some are terrifying.
Infusion was nine hours. As many of you know, I am so scared of needles. I am more scared of the needles than beating cancer. In my mind, I got this. I was given many bags of saline, Zofran, steroids, and cisplatin. Cisplatin is the chemotherapy used to treat nasopharyngeal carcinoma. Once the chemo was put in intravenously, I felt a rush of so many emotions. Scared of the unknown, I kept thinking, when will I be sick? I had to keep reminding myself, “Don’t be scared! You are one step closer.” That has become my motto!
As the day went on, I had a little surprise visitor to brighten up my day at the infusion center. I was over the moon to see my son, Jake. He was so excited to see me too. He understands the doctors are taking care of me and making Mommy better. We haven’t used the “C” word with him. We explained that Mommy is really sick and she will need to see a lot of doctors to make me better. He has been such a trooper. I think the hardest part for him, since he is truly a Mommy’s boy, is that he misses the snuggling each night. I keep reminding him when I get better, he will have snuggles for a lifetime.