My Two Cents

As I am going through treatment, reading articles and social media has been some of my down time due to not being able to do much, but rest and gain my strength back.

After seeing a couple of tweets about Bobby Ryan deleting his social media page, I really took that controversy to heart.  I haven’t spoken to Bobby or his family, but it made me think that this is a topic I would like to personally address my view and attacks.  Whatever he maybe going thru and that is a BIG if, since social media posts false reports, my heart goes out to him and his family.

I remember vividly in pre-season (2016) when Craig left for a personal reason to fly to Florida to be with me during the traumatic event of losing our daughter at sixteen weeks.  It was a devastating time in our life.  I can recall reading negative comments of his personal leave judging his character and dependability to the job he loves dearly.   People were bashing my husband with negative comments that were so hard to swallow. How could people respond negatively when they really don’t know what goes on behind closed doors?  How could you tweet something you have no idea the reason?  How could you write articles to create controversy on circumstances people have no control over?

Then it happened again, Craig flew home to me again with my diagnosis with cancer, people took to twitter to judge his character again.  After it was announced, there was even one tweet, I have stapled in my mind, “He should be home with his dying wife.” Who has the audacity to even write that?  I did respond to that tweet.  I simply said, “We would would love to sit down with you for dinner and talk.” Of course, no response. Thankfully, I am blessed with friends that immediately took to twitter and the account was taken down.

No one should have to be bullied on social media.  I am really thankful, Craig stays away from social media.  I can’t blame him.  Twitter wasn’t made to personally attack anyone.  Believe me, tweeting things like, “How do you miss that one?” to me is fine.  I am the first to chirp my husband on things, but to personally attack people on their personal issues in my eyes is down right disrespectful and rude. Remember everyone is human and faces battles.  Our first thought should be, “I hope they are ok.”

It seems like our world jumps to conclusions, and states negativity without knowing the facts. This was my husband they were talking about.  The man I love who gives his heart and soul to my family and his career.  I told myself to be the better person and not respond to nonsense. But how can we make these issues stop?  What happen to encouraging others and promoting a positive atmosphere where people can flourish to their highest level?  I would think encouraging tweets would motivate someone to give it their all.  

I can only speak for my behalf, but all the athletes that I have come in contact with, dedicate their lives to their career.  They work extremely hard all year to play the game they love.  This means dedicating themselves in the off-season to train, eating a healthy diet, giving up social events; to focusing their season on winning day in and day out.  An athlete is born with this competitive gene I can’t describe.  Their passion to win is to another level.   To hear the negativity when anyone gets hurts, blows my mind.  Let me tell you from a wives standpoint, we cringe when they are hurt, because they are miserable until they get the clearance to play again. 

On the contrary, some might respond that we should not read this stuff.  But does it fix the inappropriate behavior?

As a former elementary teacher, I always made it a point to create an positive atmosphere for children where they can thrive and excel to reach their limits.  We need to carry this thought into our adult lives.  We teach our children to be nice to others, but as adults we need to model this too. Whether if it is our everyday living or teaching people how to use social media correctly.  No one understands someone until you walk the shoes of that person.  We need to be less judgmental and more encouraging in this world.

I believe we are family.  In a positive environment we will get more out of someone then kicking them to the ground. Reading hurtful comments truly can make a person upset.  It did for me.  I wish we could ride a positive wave, and create an atmosphere where everyone’s energy level thrives to the fullest and pushes each other to be better.

One last thing, I remember a couple years ago, April Reimer, created a hashtag #tweetsweet.  Twitter wasn’t designed to bash someone’s character.  Maybe we should keep #tweetsweet in the back of our minds before creating a tweet.  



41 thoughts on “My Two Cents”

  1. Well written Nicholle.
    Social media is a place where bullies hide behind a keyboard and not have to worry about being confronted in person. I personally don’t know how people can write comments so disrespectful – Wether it is about someone’s illness, health, disability etc – it’s completely unnecessary and extremely sad.
    Social media and this world would be a much more happening, fun place if those people could be weeded out.
    In regards to the athleteservice comment, these men and women put their bodies and personal life through a roll coaster ride in order to stay fit, focused and successful. I have always admired what they do. People look at what they make and how they perform and judge, however they don’t know how much of their time is dedicated to fitness, emotion and being away from their family.
    People should focus on themselves, their health and what’s around them vs other people’s lives and finding ways to pick them apart.
    #TweetSweet #StickbyNic #Fight41Cause

    Graeme Fox

  2. Well said. We can all learn from each other and though at times we often react without thinking, we need to remember that “We don’t know what we don’t know”.

    Best of luck to you!
    P Holmes
    Sens Fan

  3. Social media has changed our lives …for the good and bad. I believe it’s ego that gives people the feeling of power by making a hateful comment. It’s uncalled for and dangerous to humanity.

    I am delighted that you are using this medium for enlightenment and education. Just a shame that those who need to read it are not connected to this type of conversation.

    Thanks to both you and Craig for giving back. Hope he plays soon ! All the best Nicholle.

  4. Thank you for your 2 cents – I enjoy following people on social media – not to bash – but to understand the person and sometimes getting a better appreciation of what the individual goes through.

    The negativity blows me away – what is the purpose of the bullying?

    You so captured the bottom line – no one knows what goes on in a persons life – we only see a small part of it – we should never be so quick to judge or “hate”.

    Thank you for the article – your 2 cents is worth an awful lot more than 2 cents 🙂


  5. I remember my father telling me as a young child to never make fun of a man’s name or the size of his donation (charity). I’ve always added a third creed. Never judge a person for his actions. Only God knows everything. I have no idea what circumstances have led people to make the choices and decisions they have. I can only sustain and support them.

    Thanks for your article. It is an important message to everyone.

  6. Beautifully expressed! You write with your heart and soul, and your words have impactful meaning. Love you! Keep writing and getting well. xoxo

  7. Thanks, Nicholle. It kills me to see the hateful stuff that gets written online. I look to social media as a place to learn, and laugh, and share. I treat people the way I would treat them if they were right in front of me. I want other people to do the same thing. Your family has been a shining example, and neither you, nor Craig, deserved any of that stuff that happened around your miscarriage and cancer diagnosis. It hurts, and is totally embarrassing, to see people doing this stuff to Bobby. For me, a veterinarian, watching hockey is a way to take away all the hard stuff that happened during the day and calm down. I owe this team that every time they play. Athletes, actors, musicians etc., lift us all up. We owe it to them not to bash them online.
    Don’t stop writing. You are such a positive and wonderful writer.

  8. As a Senators fan, I have been inspired this season by you Nicholle and your husband Craig, the team within the team! I wish you a solid recovery, and continued good health in the future. Let’s support everyone of our team members is my way of thinking, Bobby is a an important player for the Senators, and has been a model citizen in Ottawa, like you said, he deserves all our support and respect!

  9. you are amazing, thank you for talking about your journey. i think of you often, I am a hard core sens fans and a 38 year old mother of 3 about to fight all over again.

  10. I find people that bully on social media a disgrace and unkind. I would never do that to anyone. That was well said, Nicolle. I applaud you having to deal with a lot of things in your life. You are amazing and so is Craig. He is my hero as I am a goalie too and know that it is sometimes hard to read negative thoughts because I am a positive person.

  11. Totally agree with you Nicholle and thank you for writing this article! I love your positive attitude and your comment to people to stop judging others and try to be more encouraging and positive! I try to be this in my life and for the most part it works! Trust that you are feeling better now and have a healthy future! We are cheering for you!
    I understand that your husband Craig is on the mend and we hope he is back soon! My husband Craig just had a big birthday 65 and he loves your husband! Sounds funny but it’s true!
    Keep up the positive posts!❤

  12. Amen! Love your post! Even though athletes are in the public eye, they deserve as much respect as you do. #tweetsweet

  13. So very well said Nicholle. I cannot say that I understand as I’ve never experienced anything like that but I feel for anyone that gets attacked on social media. I don’t know what makes it so that fans think they’re allowed to attack athletes or anyone. Sens players/athletes/celebrities etc are just regular people. It makes me so mad to see. I’ve written about it before.

    No one should think they have the right to attack others. It just makes no sense.

    You are a wonderful person from what I’ve seen and I wish you and Craig and the rest of your family the best. Take good care of yourself!!!

  14. Twitter is invisible. It is easy for cowards to critique others with hurtful words. It amazes me that athletes are even on twitter as it is often more hurtful than helpful. Congratulations for speaking out.

  15. You have mentioned and described pretty much every aspect of social media and what it can do. It really can go either way being super positive and encouraging to being mean and breaking down people and their thoughts. I personally always try to remain positive and look on the bright side. Sounds like you and your husband have the dedication and spirits to overcome the trolls of the Internet. I wish you both to continue to be on the mend and stay strong! We need to overlook the negativity and always try and find some sort of positive outcome to keep everyone’s thoughts and spirts up. Good luck!

  16. God bless Nicholle! Please ignore all the negative stuff and concentrate on yourselves! Craig did the right thing being with you during treatment. The Ottawa Senators and their fans are 100% behind you guys!! Some people are going to be negative but no worries they are not important. Concentrate on yourselves! Go Nocholle Go ♡♡♡♡♡♡

  17. Beautifully written. Once again you’ve posted your opinion which was severely needed for this rude and disrespectful world we live in!!! You go girl!!!!

  18. I don’t use social media much Nicole, but I am glad I saw this post. It is well written and fully from the heart. This should be sent to the team 1200 after game show to let them read it as people are always calling in to bash the players and have no idea what they are talking about most of the time.
    I am a cancer survivor and rooting for you.
    Keep up the fight and the good work in the hockey world.
    I am also a big SENS fan and never miss a game.

    Best Regards and prayers going your way

  19. ur so right nik.. i almsot cried reading this.. i was bullying ppl online even sometimes ppl i knew from high school that were bullies to me.. and that isnt called for..w e have to model a good example and even t hough we have our struggles we do have to remember that we are human and everyone struggles. i guess when people think they dont measure up we get jealous and compare.. and i find the older generation of parents do it to their own kids.. joe has a bigger house, why is my daughter not as rich as his daughter … bla bla.. why did my son not get into med school.. it all creates distance and competition between each other.. and it’s bad. my mother tells my younger sister why are you so fat and ur older sister is thin and pretty. it’s horrible i think. but we have to be resilient and be a better person we cant let it affect us. hate breeds more hate.

  20. and bullying is a big thing in corporate offices.. ppl will do anyting to put others down and belittle them to make themselves look better at work.. it’s awful

  21. i remember when i got my first job and i was doing well and i felt that my own sisters were not happy for me deep down bc they werent doing as well.. it’s sad even in our own families this happens. or friends that are jealous of their friends doing better.. people getting married buying homes and ur not yet..all that makes ppl feel upset and with facebook it’s more pronounced ,. and studies have shown it leads to depression all this social media !

  22. it’s easier to be nasty in writing than in speech, hence the now somewhat outmoded practice of leaving angry notes back in high school on someone’s locker! nasty hateful aggressive comments are terrible! just jealous ppl!

    1. I am remaining strong. Thankfully, I do rise above the nonsense. I just wanted to share the message to encourage people more, and less hate in this world. I am one step closer.

  23. Honestly, we have to realize that haters crush down their own lives, and their demons use them to get to others. I actually enjoy it a little when I see an entire essay that contains three personal attacks in the first two lines. I stop reading it, and laugh as I delete it. Then, I forget it was ever there.

  24. i knowwhat u mean also by them not working it was when i wasnt finding a job fast and i was breaking out and an emotiona l wreck till i got my job after graduating univ

  25. I applaud your courage Nicole in speaking out on the misuse of social media . It is time to rein in these loose cannons by exposing how hurtful their uninformed comments can be. You are a warrior ! You are strong! Your battle has given you a voice ! “WORDS OF THE RECKLESS PIERCE LIKE SWORDS, BUT THE TONGUE OF THE WISE BRINGS HEALING.” Proverbs 12:18.
    We love you and pray for your family,
    Holly Sproule’s mom


      1. I hope the number of positive and supportive messages outnumbered the negative. Cowards hide behind nameless twitter accounts. You and your husband have your priorities straight. Thank you for sharing with Sensnation.

  26. Well said Nicholle! It’s about time that we stand up against some of the nonsense associated with social media. What a fabulous Avenue social media is to spread good, yet there are those cowards who feel the need to abuse it. People need to think before they type, have some empathy for the innocent people you are “attacking”.
    Keep up the good work and the fight Nicholle. You certainly are one of those people who use social media to spread good and help others.

  27. Well said Nicholle. I’m always amazed at how an innocent comment on Twitter can be turned into something negative by the trolls out there. As for athletes requiring personal leave as Craig did… Why not?? They have lives too and what’s going on with their families doesn’t change just because they have a game to play. If they are asking for time off, you gotta know there’s a good reason for it. But, sadly, it will always be questioned.

    Stay strong and as you say, hopefully we can all #tweetsweet.

  28. Hi Nicholle. I read an article about you on NHL surprising your husband for his game and when I learned of your cancer and your specific kind of cancer I felt compelled to reach out and wish you well! My father was diagnosed with advanced stage 4 nasopharengeal carcinoma back in 2002 and although he lost his fight I do remember the Doctors telling us how this cancer although very rare is a slow moving non aggressive cancer. I wish you the best of luck in your journey and please know you now have prayers from Anaheim, CA (Ducks fan.)

  29. That is why I won’t have Twitter, Facebook or any other social media. I wish those people would think before posting hurtful things they know nothing about and post good things instead. I think they have issues with themselves so they have to cut other people down. You Craig and your boys should ignore these comments and focus on the positive ones. Love, Hope.

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